Things Found
2007-09-24 - 8:38 p.m.
Change the tidal waves to whispers.
Wilt the lily, but not the rose.
Save the poetics for Sundays, and
Hope has always run a ragged edge.
Candles won't lose their glow
So long as you don't lose this
Belief.
Maybe I will believe too if
Loving you is keeping you,
Then I'll cling all the tighter.
The lost soul moment is over,
But I hope to remain forgiven.
It's not an event, which we can
Erase, but one can hope it won't
Be one, which we return to daily.
I had no cyanide on breath, but
All it took was some drugs, some
Drinks to kill and some wisdom to
Save.
Running out on me, the second hand
Left ticking like a time-bomb, and
My future was running out the back
Door, I thought everything was lost
Forever.
I dreamed a car crash, dreamed a
Kidnapping (though who's fooling
Who here? I'm no longer a kid.)
I dreamed a death certificate, an
Autopsy, but I survived through the
Rain as I wandered lost. Headlights
Bleary, eyes tired, mind bleary.
Exhausted from a night of broken
Promises, which cannot be resold to the
Stores where we purchased them in the
First place because this was not a sale.
This was everything.
And I'm told this isn't over, that this
Forever might just be beginning,
and it's something I couldn't handle to
Lose my grip on.
I can lose the stars because I still
Have them within your gazes. I can
Lose the world, have it tumble down
Around me, have it melt like amorphous
Wax, but to lose you? Then, my very
Breath is shattered, my very soul decimated.
Though you are not what I deserve,
Catholic guilt teaches me I deserve
Hell fires and brimstone, I will
Gladly trade the roast of eternal
Flames for the warmth of your kiss,
No matter how long delayed that kiss
May be. I will cherish it. I will
Cherish this love, and give love in
Return.
***
Crappy attempt at a poem, crappy attempt an apology, crappy attempts at summarizing how I feel at this exact, given moment.
Me.